Yes! That happens to me too; when the party is over I just feel so sad and I want to SI, and sometimes I actually go through with it. I think the alcohol distorts not only my judgment, but my perception so sometimes I'm a really emotional drunk. I do feel a little better; I hope your urges go away soon, and you weren't ramble-y. Congrats on getting rid of your tools too! You're right when you said it's worth it, because even though it's hard to throw them away, I do feel safer without them.
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