RYL Forums - View Single Post

Gone. · 19-03-2011, 12:49 PM

I made a little book (I might have mentioned this on RYL before) that had a lot of positive things in it. The cover was dolphins which mean a lot to me and inside I filled it with positive quotes - as it is just as easy to get negative ones, but I disguarded these. When I feel low or fearful of being confident I read these quotes and they stick in my head because I know them so well. It's good to have positives as a second nature thought - though it is hard and can take a while to get there, I'm still working on it.

In the book I also have photos of good times with my friends that make me smile and remember that I can be happy/positive when I want to be, giving me confidence for the future. There are also nice texts/PMs/messages that I've received from people that make me smile and remember that other people like me, even if I don't especially. In the front I have a few quirky lines that make me chuckle and set me at ease somewhat (literally, it's whatever I found that was sarcastic realism for my comedy). It sounds cheesy and I don't know whether it could work but this book is now quite a big part of my mentality.

Another thing that I found to boost confidence with giving speeches and suchlike (or, just generally, actually) was becoming another person, in a way. I became a more confident version of myself and, since I act 'fine' on a daily basis, acting this wasn't overly hard. Yes, I stress before doing things like asking for a bus ticket or the bill in a restaurant, as well as presentations, but I just imagine myself doing this and manage to do so. That makes it so much easier next time. I kind of take a deep breath and push myself.

With the actual content of positive thoughts, I don't know. I'm sorry. I haven't worked that one out yet but I do believe in the phrase "if you say something long enough then you'll believe it" and maybe this is something that happened with the negative thoughts in the first place? You won't believe it at the start but at the end, who knows? I can't say that I do but it might work.

Perhaps find something that gives you confidence? I know that I've found my 'safe place' with confidence in the Beaver Scouts at home. I mean, I've helped there for ten years now, so that must have an impact and these things take time, but I could run a game for those forty lads no problem - because confidence is easier to assertain there and other helpers don't do anything! - but struggle to do a speech in front of my tutorial group of 10. I then imagined my tutorial were the Beavers (in person, not age) and it was somewhat easier.

I don't know if I am talking absolute nonsense or if I am actually helping, I'm sure you'll have critique of what I've said and I'll be happy to answer if you wish :)

Hope this helps!

19-03-2011, 12:49 PM	#5
Gone. Join Date: May 2009	I made a little book (I might have mentioned this on RYL before) that had a lot of positive things in it. The cover was dolphins which mean a lot to me and inside I filled it with positive quotes - as it is just as easy to get negative ones, but I disguarded these. When I feel low or fearful of being confident I read these quotes and they stick in my head because I know them so well. It's good to have positives as a second nature thought - though it is hard and can take a while to get there, I'm still working on it. In the book I also have photos of good times with my friends that make me smile and remember that I can be happy/positive when I want to be, giving me confidence for the future. There are also nice texts/PMs/messages that I've received from people that make me smile and remember that other people like me, even if I don't especially. In the front I have a few quirky lines that make me chuckle and set me at ease somewhat (literally, it's whatever I found that was sarcastic realism for my comedy). It sounds cheesy and I don't know whether it could work but this book is now quite a big part of my mentality. Another thing that I found to boost confidence with giving speeches and suchlike (or, just generally, actually) was becoming another person, in a way. I became a more confident version of myself and, since I act 'fine' on a daily basis, acting this wasn't overly hard. Yes, I stress before doing things like asking for a bus ticket or the bill in a restaurant, as well as presentations, but I just imagine myself doing this and manage to do so. That makes it so much easier next time. I kind of take a deep breath and push myself. With the actual content of positive thoughts, I don't know. I'm sorry. I haven't worked that one out yet but I do believe in the phrase "if you say something long enough then you'll believe it" and maybe this is something that happened with the negative thoughts in the first place? You won't believe it at the start but at the end, who knows? I can't say that I do but it might work. Perhaps find something that gives you confidence? I know that I've found my 'safe place' with confidence in the Beaver Scouts at home. I mean, I've helped there for ten years now, so that must have an impact and these things take time, but I could run a game for those forty lads no problem - because confidence is easier to assertain there and other helpers don't do anything! - but struggle to do a speech in front of my tutorial group of 10. I then imagined my tutorial were the Beavers (in person, not age) and it was somewhat easier. I don't know if I am talking absolute nonsense or if I am actually helping, I'm sure you'll have critique of what I've said and I'll be happy to answer if you wish :) Hope this helps!
Gone. Join Date: May 2009	Left.