hey hun.
everything you say sounds like depression to me.
to me depression isnt always about crying and expressing it.
sometimes it manifests itself as all the things you are describing it as.
but in my opinion thats when it becomes 'clinical depression' and not just a low or depressed mood that in some cases can be passed off as 'chronic sadness'..
i personally have a lot of the same experiences as you are describing and have at times turned heavily to relying on alcohol.
something i have been reminded of though is that alcohol is actually a depressant.
so although you might think it is 'dampening' how you are feeling..chances are its actually increasing the depression and feelings of hopeless or helplessness.
anyhow.
those are just my thoughts.
xxox.
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