I don't have that problem myself, but I think the association from a few years ago would make sense as an explanation for your fear. Is there anybody you can talk to about this? I know it's easier said than done, but try to keep in mind that they're trying to help you, not scare you.
Also, you're right about it getting harder to stop as time goes on, so don't feel too down on yourself about it. Just try to hang in there. I found that the first few months of quitting were the most difficult.
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