[spiffykt]

Sorry for posting so often lately! Back-to-school is kicking my butt.

So, I totally achieved my goal when I went to my counselor today, in that I acted completely and totally sane and succeeded in not having to go anymore, at least not for a couple of months.

The problem is, of course, that I was completely lying when I said I was okay. I've randomly felt like crying more times than I'm inclined to count just this week, I've thought about SI-ing more than I want to admit this month, and last night I nearly cut for the first time in almost 3 months.

My friend who knows the most about how bad things have been says I should still be getting some kind of counseling or something, but... I absolutely abhorr that place. I don't like the counselor, for reasons I don't want to get into because I'll end up sounding really mean. And I'm uncomfortable enough going there that I don't want to ask what my other options are, because really I'd rather deal with it myself than go through yet another new office. (For the record: Dr. Graves is the only counselor I've ever had, but I've had to talk to other people at the same office for testing, etc, and I think I basically dislike everyone there XP.)

Don't really know what kind of advice I'm looking for, but anything would be insanely appreciated. I honestly think I'd rather just keep lying to my parents and deal with this by myself, but somehow I don't see that working out in the long run XP

Sorry, that was really long!

<3 Katie