Sorry to hear things are hard for you at the moment. In your previouse recoverys, did you seek professional help? I haven't been in exaclty your situation, but I did quit for 8 months once, without dealing with the reasons I started to begin with (I wasn't even sure what they were at that point) Anyway, after 8 months I knew that any chemical addiction to endorphines would be gone, so I realised the reason I still wanted to do it must have been phycological. For long term recovery I think it's really important to work on the underlying issues. Counselling wasn't a mirical cure, but at least I feel that I can and will get better one day. Another thing to think about, is how inconveneate living with si is, I think it really is worth trying differnet methods of stopping, and trying not to give up (eaiser said than done sometimes) Also, even if a "recovery" isn't permanate, you have saved yourself some harm. I know if I hadn't made the quit attempts that I have, my si would be much worse than it is now. So never feel that recovery attemtps are wasted effort. Sorry, not very helpful, but hope you start feeling better soon. Feel free to PM me if you feel like talking about anything.
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