You don't have to smile and lie. There are safe ways of being with how you're feeling, gently and tenderly. I can understand how you're frightened of the loss and the tears and the desolate emptiness. Maybe there are ways you can reach out for connection, even if it's texting someone you know about something completely random. And be extra kind to yourself, hold yourself kindly.
When someone's left, I know how much that can stir up feelings of being unworthy for anyone. But, you are worthy, very much so, it may be hard for you to take in, but it is still true.
Maybe curl up with a blanket around you and read a good book or watch a film or do some word puzzles. You might like to journal or draw. And if you cry, that's ok. It is safe to be yourself, really it is.
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