Oh my..the support from you both amazes me, thank you <3. Seeing people understand and care, ah, it made me tear up. The same goes for you both with the PM thing, I may be in a rut myself,but I am always available to help people. (:
I do have one adult I've recently talked to, he's 30,but I've known him for about 5 years. He figured it out himself and privately ask me, I think the relief of someone caring must of hit me because I told that poor man everything including the fact I was feeling suicidal and terrified. Talking helps,but I can't help but feel like a bother.
As for my other friends...I stopped even trying to open up to people back in 7th grade, the first girl I told used it against me and used to tell me to kill myself every day. We're not friends now,clearly but I still worry about her telling to this day. Most of the people I've tried to open up to will compare themselves and conclude they are worse off and that I'm a liar because I don't like to show cuts/scars. (Sounds contradictory but I tried to open up a few other times). One kid I can turn to has major alcoholism problems of his own,so I try really hard not to tell him things. He found out on his own because he SI as well and could tell.
I think a few people care and would listen,but I guess it stings my ego that it's not my friends who I've helped/given the time, it's usually random local band guys that figure it out for some reason.
I'm debating trying that rubber band technique? Does anyone have experience with using that coping technique?
And once again, thank you so much to you both. It means the world to me that someone cares. Thank you <3
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