It is completely shocking, what some people can do and it can be so hard adjusting to it.
Its not ideal, but maybe to begin with, think about what you always knew, that your mum couldnt care for you. This is still true. And in a way she couldnt care for herself either. It sounds to me, like she still cant. That dosnt excusse what she did, I mean as a parent your suppossed to love and protect your child always. But kind of how some people are born with disbailities that might stop them from ever talking or ever reading or writting, perhaps, she just couldnt or didnt know how to look after you or her.
This isnt you fault and people who obviously loved you, made sure you got rescued so to speak. And knowing how much against cruelty to children you are, shows that you are 10 times the person she will ever be. That, even with crappy examples to learn from, you still learnt well how to look after yourself and those you care about.
Your son is safe, I can say that 100%. Why? Because you are his mother and you know how to care for him and would do anything to protect him.
You are strong, but you never know how strong till it is the only option. You have fought a hard battel and come out the other side, that is great strength. And you are talking now, asking for help. Your not hiding. You see, this is all positives in your direction. Your learning skills you have never known and as a result, will bring your son up knowing all the right skills.
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