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I want help but never accept it :(
I tried stopping but I'm back where I started again. I'm doing it more often and everything is hurting me inside. I think I'm getting depressed and I'm sick of wearing this smiley mask all the time. Last friday I was offered help by my guidance teacher (who came to me first) and I covered everything up saying I was fine. I cried for about an hour afterwards because I'd just missed my chance to help myself. But whenever help is offered I panic and I get swamped by fear so I lie and pretend I'm fine.
I just want help but I'm too scared to say I need it.
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