well they do this weird smile and then laugh and change the topic... id want someone to not do that?? I've been told that were not talking about that.. and even when i've told them im risky and think i need reviewing with meds or whatnot they get angry and wont let me see the doctor. They tried telling me to get rid of the crisis team number. They see me for as little as possible and never ask me anything or give me a chance to say anything for example "how are you?" "umm" "good now have you looked at joining the running club" (its in the evening i have many enemies in the are and im scared to leave my house and i dont want to go running the same route each week because i can be tracked down easily, they got angry when i tried telling them saying i was just being stupid, its not.. its actually true i have predators in the area. They then proceeded to leave)
I dont want people getting angry, changing the subject and taking everything i say as stupid or a lie. I want someone to try and work with me, listen, show some genuine interest and care. I also need someone to care enough to minitor my state of mind. I last saw them in a bad state, i was stuck in a bad dimension and i paniced when i saw her in it.. i got upset because i couldnt tell which was a grounded dimension that i belong and she said well if you're going to be stupid like that then im gone, i'll ring you... hence began the problems with turning up or answering the phone.. i think cpnesturday but i didnt pick up no message left and i didnt turn up to an appointment with my support worker on monday. I just dont want to see them. I need someone to hear me and attempt to listen, 'okay why are you so upset/worried? what can we do about it?' isnt that there job? to monitor people and work throggh problems.
Id even settle for 'umhmm ok yeah' in the right places, they may be daydreaming bt at least im talking and they're listening in appearence.
Im rambling again..
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