I'm sorry you feel alone here, but I can understand it.
Vet's, as Rach said, is very slow.
But we do care and want to know how you are.
Do you have professional help of any sort? If so, it is helping? Are you able to say what you did here?
If not, would you consider seeing your GP for a referral?
Facet is right in saying that harm doesn't really give you any control, tho it may feel it right now.
There are much better ways to ease these feelings.
Do you know why certain things are making you anxious?
There are good ppl out there who can help you make sense of all this crap, help you feel not so alone, as well as help you find the reasons behind your urge to harm, which is crucial.
Thinking of you
xxx
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