Hi John,
I think that the fact you think you are going to fall down again is a massive contributory factor as to whether you do or not. Belief is a very important thing. It can shape how well we do at things in life, which is actually very strange to think about. Changing your mindset is so important when you are wanting recovery. I mean, why wouldn't you succeed? You don't have to fall down again and you haven't fallen anyway, just had a minor blip. Looking at the bigger picture you are accessing support and at least you're trying. You wouldn't be getting a CPN if you were giving into self-harm.
Perhaps try to motivate yourself with positive words rather than negative ones. If you fully believe you can then I think you'll notice a difference.
It also might be something to speak to your CPN or GP about.
Take care.
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