[Cedrus]

Thanks for the replies and the feedback. Still when I think of some of the ways I acted in the past it makes me embarrassed, I know every could see I was unwell but to be that out of control scares me. I'm working with my therapist at understanding and acknowledging things will take time for me to recover. I just hope I don't get like I did last year again in the future. Sometimes I find it hard to know where I begin and the illness ends too, I've been isolated for the last few years and have sort of lost my interests. I am trying to find that in myself at the moment. Pleased I will be starting a horticulture course with the mind charity in my area, it will be positive to try and start getting out again =]

Just saw that bottom post now. I'm in psychotherapy at the moment, have had the same therapist since Jan 08 and we have progressed a lot in that time, but things have been really difficult too. I find things hard because as a result of the social isolation caused by being unwell I now have extreme anxiety outside - I think my last admission made it worse. I think I've grown though, which is positive. Its just hard that the memories will always be there somewhere.