That was well written. Memories can be very difficult at times. I get flashbacks too of being restrained and IMed in hospital, police encounters etc. Have you considered asking for further help than just meds? I've seen clinical studies that say medication alone doesn't work as well as medication and psychotherapy combined, although I know it is difficult to get psychotherapy on the NHS (waiting lists). The dread will go once you recover and look back and be thankful.
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