Hi,
Please try not to be too embarassed about it. I can understand why you are but you don't need to be. These things can (and do) happen to anyone and you should be treated as if it were any other kind of medical problem.
I was wondering whether it is worth getting checked out again by a Doctor. 11 years is a long time and maybe a different Dr will have a different idea about what the problem is. It sounds like urge incotinence which is quite common and my guess would be that when you are anxious etc your nervous system is tipped into its "fight or flight" mode and that has an effect on lots of body systems including your bladder. Even if there is no obvious cause sometimes you can be given "exercises" to do which strengthen the muscles that stop you weeing which might make you able to hold on for a bit longer when you need to go.
If you think that there is a psychological aspect to it then that is also worth mentioning to your Dr because help dealing with the feelings/emotions which make it worse could reduce the frequency of the problem.
In the meantime I agree, some kind of sanitary pad might make things a bit easier.
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