Originally Posted by
kayla86
It's actually got nothing to do with me being curious and married. I've been having relationships with women for 9 years, (a lot longer than I've been married for.)
Both my husband and the girl where completely aware of where everyone stood, and like I said, this is not the first time this has happened. We all spoke about it before anything even happened, it was just me that couldn't deal with it. I got obsessed in the "ideation/devaluation" (whatever its called) way.
As I also said, I've had a lot of other stuff going on which has contributed (but I didn't want to write an essay.)
My pyschiatrist doesn't understand why this is such an issue for me either, yet a few of my friends with BPD completely get it... and I know in myself its not just curiosity.