[dollpart]

i was talking to my counsellor yesterday and he asked when i started hating my body. over the years i've had various issues with not liking it... it's got better as i've realised i'm lucky it works, and realised that it is actually an ok body, but the feelings are harder to get rid of than the thoughts. anyway he asked when it started and i said, when i was 9. because before that i wanted to be a boy, and before that, everyone looks like a boy anyway. and then puberty hit (early, yeah) and i realised i wasn't a boy and i stopped feeling comfortable or easy in my skin. and after that, even when i tried to be girlie i was stuck with the feeling that my body wasn't what i wanted... and then the guilt/shame over sex and being gay, etc, struck at 13 but maybe that's some whole other story. i'm just wondering if anyone else has any feelings about this? i don't *still* want to be a boy. i'm 24, and i think i'm used to my body. i'm small and quite feminine physically although i never wear make-up or skirts or anything. but sometimes in my head i'm a boy... never a man, that's not something i'd like to be. i don't know, it doesn't make me feel bad or anything, i'm just curious about other people's experiences.