[lozza]

thanks ally sweetie
but I am not feeling that way at all :/

I am scared and terrified

I am scared because I cannot verbalise what is happening in my head, what ella is feeding me right now. That terrifies me cuz if I cant verbalise what is happening then no one will know and NO ONE will be able to relate or help me fight this never ending battle.

I feel low.
it is that time of the month and I feel like I want to hurt myself just for the sake of it, because I know that my period makes things a million times worse inside.

I feel like I do not want to fight anymore because fighting seems so pointless when I know I will just wake up to another morning fighting the same crap... getting no where fast.

I want to end things cuz that is the only ending I can see from how I am feeling. And that scares me a lot.

I do not know what to do right now:s