Hi Pandora, sorry to hear about your Christmas. It's terrible that you had to experience that :(
Why are you too scared to go to the doctor?
It sounds like you have made good friends at college- do you think it would be possible to confide in one of them about this? I know trusting is hard, but I think it gets better with practise!
I'm not really sure what to advise about the anxious-shaky stuff. I'm having similar problems myself and am going to go to my doctor and try to convince them to give me some anti-anxiety meds. I think I would advise trying to speak to a doctor about it, if you can pluck up the courage. I find if I'm on here just before I go to bed, it's hard to sleep, so I try to unwind and push all the anxious thoughts to the back of my mind. I watch some tv on my laptop in bed or read or read through the collection of really funny texts I have saved on my phone just before I go to sleep. And forcing myself to get up early so that I'm really tired by the time I go to bed works for me.
Sorry for the long response, especially when most of it is probably quite unhelpful :S
Jenna :)
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