Hi,
I'm sorry you feel like professionally, people have given up on you. This will never be the case at RYL. However, do you feel that you may be able to get through to your GP or therapists etc if you explain almost what you've written here to them. It is unfortunate, but sometimes people really do need you to be forcefull with them for them to realise how you actually feel.
It sounds as though you are feeling very consumed by self harm. Perhaps you could make positive steps every day to take things off your mind. I know when people say this that it always sounds as though it would be impossible to make you feel better ~ but sometimes you just have to believe that you can feel happier to start working towards it. Positive affirmations are well thought of. Praising yourself, and finding something happy/to laugh about everyday?
You mentioned feeling like everyone thinks you should succum to feeling this way and accept it for who you are. Do you want to do this? Maybe you could use it as an insentive to 'prove them wrong' in a way, or show them that you're willing to get out and do things. Spending time with friends can often make us feel happier and forget jsut by default. Maybe you could look into joining a new club or group of some kind? Or even just calling up old friends, maye going to the cinema? Little things.
Keep talking here, if it helps.
Take care x
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