I'm sorry things are tough between the two of you.
I don't think any problems in a relationship are the responsibility of a single partner. You are PARTNERS for a reason...to live life together, and part of that involves problem solving. Maybe you have not been the ideal partner but you obviously do care for her and you are not bad person because if you were then you would not care about making her worry. Having said that, 'doing something', something damaging is not the solution. At all. You need to sit down with her and have a full and frank discussion with her and work out the right solution between the PAIR of you, rather than making rash decisions alone. I hope you managed to stay safe and are feeling a little better than when you posted this.
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