I know it can be so frustrating when you want to say everything thats going on in your head and you just cant get the words out. Would you be able to write a letter and give it to your CPN instead?
Not being able to sleep is not good when you get scary symptoms like that, as it makes them worse. I hope the sleeping pills help you, you need some way to escape this horrid nightmare.
That sounds so terrifying. I know it is so hard when people telling you the things you are seeing arent real, as they are real for you. And it can make you feel more alone. What helps you when you having these visual images? Have you tried blinking really rapidly, to break up the images? Ive heard that helps some people.
You're definitely not a horrible person. you're trying to help others, and that makes you a very good person. Its not always easy to take our own advice.
Please keep reaching out for help. Can you keep yourself around your family to keep you distracted and not alone?
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