Gah, I know exactly what you mean about wanting to recover but not wanting to because of 'getting fat'. Your therapist sounds really nice and supportive though. And it doesn't sound to me like she has any intention of putting you in a hospital if you work with her.
I'm sure they will only ask you to gain what you need to in order to be healthy (Despite what your ED wants you to think, people like this are NOT part of some huge conspiracy to make you 'fat'). Yes, it will be daunting at first, and strange too, but then, one day you will wake up and not have to worry about weighing yourself, or how much cals/fat are in this one tiny yogurt; and it will all be worth it.
Also I think writing it down is a great idea ^^, i always find it much easy than speaking too.
Stick at it. Take care.
Katie xx
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