Hope you're feeling a bit better now *offers hugs* thank God you haven't done any major damage (:
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Long story short. I found out my Mum has made an account on here. She has only posted 3 times but not in these forums. She hasn't used it since November and says she has forgotten the password.
So I used this as an opportunity to tell her I was struggling. Three times I said "You know, I have problems with my eating so if you want to talk to me you can" and 3 times she ignored that. So after I had a mini-breakdown on her shoulder, I just bluntly said "I'm struggling". She looked so shocked, which made me realise how much she'd been ignoring it. I told her about everything, how I'm sick and tired of not having normal problems like wondering about whether a boy likes me or not, and having problems like trying to eat properly, trying to resist every urge not to SI and knowing that I'm so screwed I cannot even bring myself to like someone.
She said "do you want to go back to counselling then" but in a tone that made me sense that she really didn't want me to. I told her I really didn't know and that I was scared.
I do feel better for telling her but I've got a feeling that by tomorrow morning or in a couple of days this is all going to be forgotten. Really feel like I've hurt her
sorry for the rant