Thanks for the reply Lauren.
I'm really sorry to hear you have experienced similar thoughts! I'm glad that things have got better for you though and just hope things change for me too sometime soon! It seems to be so up and down. Sometimes I do see a glimmer of hope but it disappears pretty quickly and I'm back to feeling suicidal again. I think after the HTT, I am going to have some support from the community mental health team so that's a positive. Hopefully it's as good as the support from the HTT. I was supposed to have an appointment yesterday but it was cancelled due to snow. My psychologist appointment was also cancelled, which I was upset about as I have been waiting so long for it. Hopefully I'll get another one soon! I'm still feeling really bad about my mum having to deal with so much. My brother made me feel like I can help my depression but I can't at all; it's completely uncontrollable and I feel completely out of control like I have no control over my thoughts, feelings or actions. It's a horrible position to be in! Well, I just hope tomorrow is a better day. Thanks for the offer of PMing you! Hugs