[twisted-mirrors]

Hi,
I am not sure why I even bother to post this...it seems that it's too late for me to do anything. May be for once I need an objective viewpoint over this.
One of all bad thing that happened this summer was meeting T. I am generally and genuinely nice to people unless they give me a reason for something else, and it takes me a lot to say i regret meeting him. But that's the bare truth, I can not change it, I can not cover it.
He was...he is an addict. Not a drug addict, not an alcohol addict, not...just an addict. When I met him, he was in really good state of mind. I knew he HAD been an addict, I knew he HAD been to jail 3 times. He was the first guy I know that had been to jail so many times, so I said okay, everyone makes mistakes. We became friends. He was in love with me. I had a boyfriend and he had a girlfriend, so we never had anything more than a nice dinner or walk on the beach together. I believed he had a lot of potential so I tried to make him believe he can do something great with his life despite the past.
And then I saw him drugged and drunk on the street, in so bad shape he didn't recognize me. And then every time I turned around he did something stupid. He got drunk. He got drugged on heroin and weed and painkillers and sometimes mixed all those things together. When his girlfriend left him for 6th time he smashed the window of a car. When she lost the baby she was having, baby that wasn't his, he got in a fight with her new boyfriend. Even when we were together, sometimes I started to realize, he was leaving to go the the bathroom and taking drugs there. When we went to the mall he was caught shoplifting. Every time he swore it was the last time he did those things, and every time he did something else.
At the end I was so angry at him, I stopped talking to him. Now he's back in jail for six years, and I heard he is using still all of those things. I am not from the city I was in in the summer, I am not even from the same country. when I left USA to get back to my country i didn't even go to see him.
And now it's killing me that despite everything, I couldn't stop him. I have never dealt with substance abuse before so I have trully vague idea about it, and I can't keep wondering what will happen to him, and weather he won't kill himself, wether with alchohol, drugs, fight or something else I don't know. I'm just so worried and angry all the time, and I hate him for doing this to himself...and to me, and I love him.
I don't even know how I feel anymore. Can you love and hate someone at the same time? What am I supposed to do? My friends think I should forget about him...should I just leave him killing himself if he so please? How could I move on? I can't. And at the same time, there isn't anything I can do anymore, I couldn't do anything when I was there, what am I supposed to do when there is an ocean between us?
What am I supposed to do?