Questions:
1.Do bald men wash their head with soap or shampoo?
Fairy liquid :P
2.Why are the obituaries found in the "living" section of the newspaper?
They are???
3.How can someone be dirt poor, and another be filthy rich?
Money is dirty obv.
4.When you put 'THE' and 'IRS' together, it forms 'THEIRS'.
Um there is probs this great joke here but I don't get it.
5.Are one handed people offended when police tell them to put their hands up?
Um they're probs thinking more oh noes I got caught.
6.How can sweet and sour sauce be sweet and sour at the same time?
In short it will be due to the chemicals t contains and they way they interact with the body/brain.
7.Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
Probably.
8.If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to?
Who are they? Like trading standards? Um if so God.
9.Did Noah keep his bees in archives?
I don't get it.
10.If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a picture of a thousand words worth?
UM £2.50.
11.If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?
Technically it never existed its like virtual on the stocks and shares and stuff....
12.If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?
It went to the moon on holiday.
13.What happens to an 18 hour bra after 18 hours?
They have 18 hour bras?
14.What if you're in hell, and you're mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?
Anywhere but where you are.
15.Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
'Cos it'd be super embarrasing if it like slid off or owt.
16.When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
Nope.
17.If your plan is having no plan, do you have a plan?
Technically yes.
18.If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
LOL.
19.If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
Lol, funny.
20.Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?
Dunno.
21.Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
No comment.
22.If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
Hehehehe yes.
23.If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Cause love isn't really is it?
24.When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts" and you put your two cents in ... what happens to the other penny?
Are 2 cents and 1 penny different currencies?
25.Why is the man who invests all your money called a 'broker'?
Lol 'cos he looses it?
26.Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?
'Cos they'd go mouldy otherwise?
27.When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
Cheese talks?!?!?!
28.Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
'Cos they're technically a driver?
29.Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
No idea.
30.Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
Cus things are weird.
31.Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
Cause that sounds daft.
32."I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
OHHHHH weddings, I was confuzelated.
33.If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that
electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
Hmmm we could debate the English language forever.
34.If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
Hehehehe.
35.Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
Yes.
36.What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
N/A but I didn't know they put hair colour on??
37.I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . .they're cramming for their final exam.
I lol'd although I read it at 15 so yeh.
WHERE IS 38?
39.Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
Probably due to the proportion of people that visit the post office. And tbf how creeped out would your gran be if you sent her a postage stamp of Hitler??
40.If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the
others here for?
To help us so it all goes round in a nice circle :)
41.How come no one ever says, "It's only a game" when their team is winning?
'Cos most people do actually like winning.
42.If we quit voting will they all go away?
Who, go where? Wouldn't it be a dictatorship?
43.A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a work station...
Lol.
44.How come you never hear about gruntled employees?
Because it isn't a word??
45.If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
I think you answered that with 'fool'.
46.Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency. I think you should write . . . A Good Doctor.
Yup.
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