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MissAnonymous · 18-11-2010, 06:26 PM

My partners sister was diagnosed with emerging borderline at 16 ish age and has gone on to have 3 children in a relatively stable relationship, albeit with imo a prick as the man doesn't appreciate her half as much as he should.

Anyway, she was very unwell and unsafe and children, for her, have given her an amazing focus and reason to keep safe and well, she hasn't self harmed since she had her first child and works bloody hard to give them a stable upbringing, something she never had. Her kids are happy and very intelligent, she does a lot to encourage their emotional development as well as giving them their basic needs.

I dont think it is a case of BPD = bad idea to be a parent, but for many people, if not most, it will be some sort of a challenge to provide all the things nesscessary to be a loving parent within a stable environment. It is a case of how you choose to deal with your situation and how ready and willing you are to commit to building a suitable foundation for a child to grow up healthily in. It helps if you have emotional support, but she [partners sister] has very little, so I guess if that were the situation it shows its not impossible.

I know someone else who has children with BPD. Her first was taken away from her for various reasons, though her BPD had got some things to do with it. She went on to have a second child and this child is still living with her and its dad as far as I know and she has changed things round for the most part.

I think it is a make or break for people with BPD, it will go either way and quite possibly to the extreme.

I guess the one thing I could imagine this would relate to is bringing up a child whilst going through severe postnatal depression, this sort of illness would give similar problems in raising a child however the duration is much reduced from BPD. A child needs to see healthy interactions between people and like with BPD a person with postnatal depression is usually withdrawn and finds little motivation for interaction with everyone around them.

Im rambling, but theres my 2 cents.

18-11-2010, 06:26 PM	#7
MissAnonymous Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: UK I am currently:	My partners sister was diagnosed with emerging borderline at 16 ish age and has gone on to have 3 children in a relatively stable relationship, albeit with imo a prick as the man doesn't appreciate her half as much as he should. Anyway, she was very unwell and unsafe and children, for her, have given her an amazing focus and reason to keep safe and well, she hasn't self harmed since she had her first child and works bloody hard to give them a stable upbringing, something she never had. Her kids are happy and very intelligent, she does a lot to encourage their emotional development as well as giving them their basic needs. I dont think it is a case of BPD = bad idea to be a parent, but for many people, if not most, it will be some sort of a challenge to provide all the things nesscessary to be a loving parent within a stable environment. It is a case of how you choose to deal with your situation and how ready and willing you are to commit to building a suitable foundation for a child to grow up healthily in. It helps if you have emotional support, but she [partners sister] has very little, so I guess if that were the situation it shows its not impossible. I know someone else who has children with BPD. Her first was taken away from her for various reasons, though her BPD had got some things to do with it. She went on to have a second child and this child is still living with her and its dad as far as I know and she has changed things round for the most part. I think it is a make or break for people with BPD, it will go either way and quite possibly to the extreme. I guess the one thing I could imagine this would relate to is bringing up a child whilst going through severe postnatal depression, this sort of illness would give similar problems in raising a child however the duration is much reduced from BPD. A child needs to see healthy interactions between people and like with BPD a person with postnatal depression is usually withdrawn and finds little motivation for interaction with everyone around them. Im rambling, but theres my 2 cents.