[andhearts]

i've spent the last three hours distraught and knowing i'm inevitiably going to self harm.

I'm hoping for some words of advice or positivity because there really is nobody I can talk to in this moment apart from the computer screen.

I haven't sh in three months, and with the help of therapy i've slowly started to come off anti depressants. But recently its really started to hit me again and I'm terrified.
I promised my family I was better , that I could handle going back to uni.
I can't bear to tell my friends I need help.
I promised myself I wouldn't have to come back to this site.

My gf ended things with me today and i'm mortified. She was my best friend, the only person that I thought understood me completely. I know it sounds petty, and i've been through alot worse and got over it, but its come at completely the worst time.

And I can't tell her i'm triggered in fear of her thinking i'm being selfish.
I need distraction,

any words of wisdom or just anything positive I can get from any of this would be really appreciated.

I've come too far to fall back into the habit of sh again :(