I realised I needed help last night. Things got to a head and all I could think of was the stupid thing to do. I couldn't sleep, part of which might have been because my GP wanted to experiment with me taking my seroquel (XR) in the morning instead of the evening, and I'm sure that didn't help matters. So I rang the crisis line.
I was on hold with the suicide crisis line for over 2 hours before I hung up last night ... I tried to watch a show that always makes me laugh and it didn't even raise a smile from me. I thought about waking my housemate up but decided he needed his sleep as he had to be up early this morning. I thought of ringing the other crisis line, but it gets transfered through to the hospital after 9pm which is useless. The only good thing that came out of it was that I finally gave my housemate the dangerous stuff for my suicide plan this morning because I realised how close I came.
It's a sad case when you need someone IRL to talk to and there is just no-one there ...
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