Hi Starting again,
Yes my mental health should be unrelated to my working, but one of the things that has greatly influenced my working is the ignorance of colleagues and patients about mental health. I have already had a traumatic experience at work where a colleague said something extremely untruthful about people with mental health issues, and I didn't know how to react I was so shocked so I locked myself in the bathroom and started to cry. I later lost my job after I had some mixed messages from telling my boss- but basically no one likes crazy people.
I accepted that I wasn't the right fit for that job so it wasn't the end of the world and went on to doing different jobs, but I would always get ill at some point. My new boss suggested I try a different career when I finally resigned........
At the end of the day, it has always been to my benefit for other people not to know my diagnosis as I have been discriminated against at school and at home and in the workplace. People are more honest about their prejudices and I have learnt not to take it personally. I am thinking of coming out next year and talking about my experiences but I don't know if I will do more damage to my professional career as I am only a newbie.
Because of the court case, my health carers don't know when I will be considered stable enough to do anything and they sometimes say things that I think are out of order if I forget my meds etc. Basically, I want to go into mental health but I don't think that I can get a job if people knew I had a mental health problem- why? Because of where I live and the lack of empowerment for service users.
I know that I am not thinking clearly all the time, but sometimes I get so mad that people leave me to act like I am normal and dump loads of responsibility on me- which would be great except I am not normal- I get overwhelmed and they get to stand at the side lines and say haha see I knew you'd fail.
|