Kim do you realise or have you ever stopped to think that actually there is little or nnothinig wrong with you, and that infact the real problem lies with her?
I think this woman is putting all her fears and anxieties upon you as she simply can not cope with her own struggles herself.
Im imagining (and i you will prolly tell me im wrong), that your mother is actually jealous of you! your mother perhaps sees in you something she never had! I think that something is independance and choice.
She harps on about what you should be doing in an antiquarian manner that is so stuck in the 40's its untrue. Its her problem and not yours.
Regarding the sick business, then that surely shows there is something wrong with the woman. Her inability to cope with her own grandchild and her coldness to its distress. Doesnt that show you something?
You ask how you can feel better about this? Well perhaps just start by telling yourself that she is the one with the issues. dont get angry but perhaps try and see her from an outside perspective. Feel a bit sorry for her if you need to. It is she thats ill-adjusted and not you. its her who is struggling and not you. Try and change the ballance of power here. It could be quite liberating.
finally OF COURSE you are going to be excited to see her. youre a single mum struggling and shes your mother. we have that inbuild system of forgiveness as kids that stays with us. I guess a part never leaves us that always wants to trust our parents and believe they are the be all and end all. Sadly the older we get the less of a truth that is. (still happens at 40 believe me)
Ive waffled some psychobabbling poo here. sorry ¬.¬
Love you delusional sister :P
Matthew xxx
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