Well the good news is I had a long chat with HR at work today. I've tried to be honest with them all through this so I told them what happened yesterday. There is a counselling thing they offer through work called the EWP- I'd used up all my sessions for the year (6 per 12 month period) but under the circumstances they advised they would clear me for more and would get in touch with my counsellor to arrange it. They're going to ask my counsellor for advice so that they can provide a sort of "panic button" option for me in the office - the HR person, my manager and another person in the office who knows about this will be my go-to people. If I feel urges, or panic, or anxiety or anything like that I can just go and find one of them and they will help talk me back down to reality based on what the counsellor advises would be helpful, or even just take me away somewhere quiet where there won't be noise and where I will be away from items that might trigger urges, or become focal points for urges.
I'm going to ask my GP about the meds. I was on citalopram before and it really helped my urges and anxiety, but the side effects caused me to have a lot of time off. Now I'm on the sertraline I have very few side effects, but clearly it isn't doing what it is supposed to do! I don't know if he will change the meds, up the dose or what, but I figure I can't stay with what I'm taking now.
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