So I slipped up last night. I was si free since January 2008. All of it was fake. I still day dreamed about how I would hurt myself. I started using laxatives daily to lose weight and now I have no appetite and don't care about eating. I feel nothing. I'm not sure I want to stop again. Very few people know about my si past. I want to tell someone, but I don't know if I can. There is an old teacher of mine who is now a psychologist. I would like to tell him, but it would only be over fb since I live 700 miles away.
I am a Christian. I am a youth leader and children's church teacher at my church. I know everything to say to the youth and children, but I don't always mean it. I don't feel like I should be in any leadership position right now.
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