RYL Forums - View Single Post

found · 12-10-2010, 06:03 AM

I have been in and out of the site for the last month just not knowing where to go.... I post something then delete it... I look ofr chat then run away.

I am scared.

My life has been rough in the last 21 years. I have been verbally assaulted, had things thrown at me, slapped, my hair pulled, hit, kicked and pushed around like a rag doll. All of this by my own loving and caring husband. :et me start by saying he has not hit me in over 5 years, and in the last 15 months he has not hit either of our 2 boys.... But with us all suffering from PTSD it feels like today.

My hubby has been on Paxil for 10 months he was doing pretty well, until the Dr said he will not refill the scrip w/o an appointment (800 miles away) (we've moved) So hubby takes it upon himself to start weening himself off by cutting pills in half.... He was on 20 mil then cut to 10 for a week and now I think he is off of them. He has been a pain in my behind all week complaining about his back hurting and being sick to his stomach. Normally I am a VERY doting wife and nursemaid. Well he doesn't think so this time around, I don't blame him I don't think I am being as empathetic as normal, I am PMSing. I believe he is too quick about going off the meds, he has an appt with a dr tomorrow, i doubt he will even bring it up... He thinks he is ok and thinking clearly. I can not seem to show him how irrational he is being.

Today when I finally got my period, we had a heck of a fight, it started with a misunderstanding that I did not let get cleared up fast enough. You see he started it wrong... He looked at me and said "you know you are not pretty." At which point I was instantly offended and shocked and tried to leave the room. he said "Wait! That's not fair." yeah? I know... well I can't remember all of what was said but I said something to the effect of feeling negative and he got up to go lay down, I asked him "What you can't sit up and talk to me anymore" so he came back to talk.... I started to tell him how I felt and he interrupted me and asked if it was really physical pain or if it was psychosomatic. I said I did not want him analyzing me and got up. So he asked me if I could not sit anymore, I said "NO! I am going to get the heating pad and will be right back." He said "SIT DOWN!" I sat back down. He then asked why I could not sit down I said it is cramps and I need the heating pad. he said why don't you have to get it now, what is stopping you? Is it the physical pain I said "NO! it is the emotional Abuse" which stopped him in his tracks and he said "Did you just say I abuse you?" I said yes,,, He said goodbye and started to pack. I went in after him and told him it was unfair for him to run away. He did not like that much and just kept packing. He had everything packed and in the living room by the time I understood what was really going on.... The trigger here was not the conversation, it was the word abuse....
You see a little over a year ago our oldest son called the police when his dad backhanded him for the last time... he went to jail and court and is labeled a child abuser a label he has been trying very had to not live up to... so when I said it he was afraid he was going to jail so he should leave before that happens. I knew it was not going to happen but he did not.....

So now you have a woman who heard her husband say she is not pretty, and a man hear his wife call him and abuser and stuff all over the place when the kids get home from school so we lock them out of the house for hours....(we do reward them and give them $20 to go get themselves supper wherever they want to go, cause this ugly woman ain't gonna cook tonight.) Tempers flair and are talked back down, words are thrown out like knives and cause some serious blows.... but he is still here tonight. the bags are still packed. But we had some REALLY healing words come out too.

I have been hating my husband for a long time, and not doing a good job of hiding that fact... when I had given him a compliment today ( I actually gave 3) he started crying because he said he could not remember the last time i complimented him. In all honesty, I can not either. I have such animosity toward him.

My oldest child asked me the other day when he was upset sith his dad. " Mom do you even remember when Dad made you smile last, without making a joke?" I can not.

The end of the conversation is that he stayed. I talked him into it.... But I will wonder for a long time if it was the right thing to do.....

12-10-2010, 06:03 AM	#1
found Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Mississippi I am currently:	What am I thinking I have been in and out of the site for the last month just not knowing where to go.... I post something then delete it... I look ofr chat then run away. I am scared. My life has been rough in the last 21 years. I have been verbally assaulted, had things thrown at me, slapped, my hair pulled, hit, kicked and pushed around like a rag doll. All of this by my own loving and caring husband. :et me start by saying he has not hit me in over 5 years, and in the last 15 months he has not hit either of our 2 boys.... But with us all suffering from PTSD it feels like today. My hubby has been on Paxil for 10 months he was doing pretty well, until the Dr said he will not refill the scrip w/o an appointment (800 miles away) (we've moved) So hubby takes it upon himself to start weening himself off by cutting pills in half.... He was on 20 mil then cut to 10 for a week and now I think he is off of them. He has been a pain in my behind all week complaining about his back hurting and being sick to his stomach. Normally I am a VERY doting wife and nursemaid. Well he doesn't think so this time around, I don't blame him I don't think I am being as empathetic as normal, I am PMSing. I believe he is too quick about going off the meds, he has an appt with a dr tomorrow, i doubt he will even bring it up... He thinks he is ok and thinking clearly. I can not seem to show him how irrational he is being. Today when I finally got my period, we had a heck of a fight, it started with a misunderstanding that I did not let get cleared up fast enough. You see he started it wrong... He looked at me and said "you know you are not pretty." At which point I was instantly offended and shocked and tried to leave the room. he said "Wait! That's not fair." yeah? I know... well I can't remember all of what was said but I said something to the effect of feeling negative and he got up to go lay down, I asked him "What you can't sit up and talk to me anymore" so he came back to talk.... I started to tell him how I felt and he interrupted me and asked if it was really physical pain or if it was psychosomatic. I said I did not want him analyzing me and got up. So he asked me if I could not sit anymore, I said "NO! I am going to get the heating pad and will be right back." He said "SIT DOWN!" I sat back down. He then asked why I could not sit down I said it is cramps and I need the heating pad. he said why don't you have to get it now, what is stopping you? Is it the physical pain I said "NO! it is the emotional Abuse" which stopped him in his tracks and he said "Did you just say I abuse you?" I said yes,,, He said goodbye and started to pack. I went in after him and told him it was unfair for him to run away. He did not like that much and just kept packing. He had everything packed and in the living room by the time I understood what was really going on.... The trigger here was not the conversation, it was the word abuse.... You see a little over a year ago our oldest son called the police when his dad backhanded him for the last time... he went to jail and court and is labeled a child abuser a label he has been trying very had to not live up to... so when I said it he was afraid he was going to jail so he should leave before that happens. I knew it was not going to happen but he did not..... So now you have a woman who heard her husband say she is not pretty, and a man hear his wife call him and abuser and stuff all over the place when the kids get home from school so we lock them out of the house for hours....(we do reward them and give them $20 to go get themselves supper wherever they want to go, cause this ugly woman ain't gonna cook tonight.) Tempers flair and are talked back down, words are thrown out like knives and cause some serious blows.... but he is still here tonight. the bags are still packed. But we had some REALLY healing words come out too. I have been hating my husband for a long time, and not doing a good job of hiding that fact... when I had given him a compliment today ( I actually gave 3) he started crying because he said he could not remember the last time i complimented him. In all honesty, I can not either. I have such animosity toward him. My oldest child asked me the other day when he was upset sith his dad. " Mom do you even remember when Dad made you smile last, without making a joke?" I can not. The end of the conversation is that he stayed. I talked him into it.... But I will wonder for a long time if it was the right thing to do.....