ok...
no one really has to reply. youve all given what you can.
i guess this will just be my sounding board.
sleeping didnt work. im exhausted. i feel sick to my stomach. i refuse to hurt myself. but i realize not sleeping and finding it hard to eat isnt healthy.
ive lost very close friends. in the past three years my father died, my grandmother died, and my cousin died. and a very close friend was killed in a car crash while i was in the hospital so i wasnt able to attend the funeral.
my ability to handle anymore just isnt there right now. all these deaths are still very fresh in my mind although im dealing with it.
i need to hear from her...to know she is freaking breathing. at this point, i never know.
tears are coming and i rarely cry. its takes alot to produce a tear. but maybe i should just cry and get it over with.
i dont mean to whine and i feel like a baby and i feel stupid but i honestly cant help it.
im strong...ive proved it to myself. and im trying. i just wish i could sleep. ive been up since yesterday.
ive even taken an anxiety pill and i save them for extreme situations but this is turning into one.
please, i need to sleep....
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