Originally Posted by
Sparky!
I agree that surrounding yourself only with negative things is unhelpful and yes, I'm sure some people on this site do that. But I don't really see how you can make that judgment? The implication seems to be that most of the people who respond to these "negative" threads must be doing just that and I think that's an unfair assumption.
I don't honestly see that much of it in R&R. I only usually look at the book threads but I had a quick look and there's maybe four self-harm / suicide / whatever threads on the first page. I am guessing that most people who respond do not spend their time wallowing in this stuff. But I think it's natural to have some level of interest in the subject. Whatever kind of issue people have, I think they're typically interested in hearing about other people - real or otherwise - who've been through similar. Please please don't tell me there's a difference between this and "wallowing". I know. What I'm saying is I don't see how you can say any of these people are doing that, and therefore it comes across as pretty patronising to go on about how you just don't understand why people would do that.
I think it's totally acceptable to use RYL as an outlet for that kind of thing. It isn't exactly the kind of thing most people will want to talk to their friends about, whereas they will probably discuss other films and music.
I wasn't going to bother replying to this thread again, since I believe I've said all that I can on it. However, I'm going to respond if I'm basically told I'm being patronising and judgemental.
From my experience of these (maybe they've changed now, I haven't read them in a while) it is the same people who respond. Yet they don't respond to the more general or positive posts, which is where I get my assumption that most of their interests revolve around these topics. Why not join in discussions about other things? It seems to me (and I'm sure I'm not the only one) that there are a lot of people on this site who do only stay in the self-harm forum or the more support-orientated ones, and use this site only to talk about self-harm. There seems to be an assumption that because we all self-harm, we all seem to have an interest in music/books/films that contain that. This is/was a community, and I don't think one can exist built purely through a linking thread of self-harm. There needs to be more to it than that. Maybe that's where RYL is failing, that there are now too few members interested in maintaining a more general and community atmosphere here, rather than being just a support site?
I don't really want anything done with these threads. If people want to discuss it, they can. This thread came up because of confusion to do with the rules. They say that you cannot link to or promote self-harm, yet a lot of these songs are obviously glamourising and/or graphic and/or 'triggering'. And there was also a few people here who wanted to understand why these threads keep popping up, and what people gain from them.
No one is wanting to erase the darker aspects of humanity. In fact, a lot of those questioning these threads are those wanting a more open/less bubble-wrapped RYL! The questions come from when someone seems to be surrounding their entire lives with this, through interests, friends, clothes, etc.