I haven't got much to say, unfortunately, but there's a few things that spring to mind.
It sounds as if you need to slow down, step back, and take a break from what's happening around you at the moment. Sit back, and try to figure out how you plan on achieving your future goals. Perhaps try to enroll in art courses for now, and get a low skill level job at somewhere like a supermarket, just to give you some income & experience too.
Could you take a short break, away from what you're in now, so that you can focus on yourself & your future? To be honest, it sounds as if where you are now is doing you no favours - to your self-worth, self-esteem, independane, and so forth. Yes, it's providing you with somewhere to stay and suchlike, but the more you stay there the harder you may find it to move on.
Are you receiving any support at the moment? That'd help you with your feelings, and would allow you to start working things out within yourself. Other types of support may be worth looking in to too - like financial and job support.
Good luck, and take care, xx
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