That's a good idea. It would be hard, but I want my mum to do all the things she wants to do. We have lots of things to look forward to, things we would have done anything - Thorpe Park night in October, and Jason Manford in February, and a couple of gigs and stuff - but it's kind of good now as something to look forward to.
My mum is not having a good day today. She cried a lot earlier because she said all we will remember about her is her saying no to us all the time. It's not true though (and I told her that) because she's always doing stuff with/for us, giving us stuff, anything. She said she read a story on the news about a man whose wife died and he got remarried 14 months later, and she cried then too. But that wouldn't happen either, I can't see it ever happening. She was just sad because she doesn't want all this to be happening, and it's probably going to be within the next few years, and she wants to be with us. I think it's partly because she's not feeling well today, she's had a really bad headache all day so she was in bed most of the afternoon and she's just gone to bed again. Hopefully that will help though and she'll feel better then, 'cos it's hard being happy when you're not feeling well isn't it?
I will try and talk to the hospice counsellor on Thursday though. My mum has two Macmillan nurses but they don't seem to do anything at the moment, I guess because the treatment has stopped now until we find out if the cancer's gone.
I feel like crying a lot today.
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