Dasher, thank you. This is a general apology, yes. :)
The feeling threatened mindset is very selfish, I'm seeing now. What it did in your case [I think it came at a time when I was very raw from this person who was stalking me online and harassing me with her defaming psychiatric diagnosis of me] was I read and thought "Oh God, here someone else sees me as crap and what I say as worthless." Which of course is more of an expression of my own low self esteem and paranoid 'ideas of reference'. In low self esteem, I believe how can I possibly hurt someone, because what I say is meaningless and I'm so worthless. All of that messy bundle. You were vulnerable, I tried to relate, but I was vulnerable and not great at communicating due to that, and then it was 'too late'. I regret it, I genuinely do.
I'll ponder over a way to word things for my sig. How about -
"I'm a survivor of complex relational trauma and this can affect my communication. If I inadvertently say something you don't feel comfortable with, tell me. It helps if you explain why, and also understand that I don't mean to cause any harm." ?
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