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MissAnonymous · 29-08-2010, 11:29 PM

I just dont have professional support available [I was discharged from adult services because it is not in their remit to treat PDs and my county has no service they can refer me to]. Cop-out much?

I was waiting for a lady called Gail from family carers to call me back, but she never did. Thats only for a carers support group though with other young people, but the irony is I might not be able to go cos I cant leave her for hours and hours.

My gp doesnt really help, theres nothing to say, I am waiting to be referred to an anxiety workshop course thingy via MIND [charity] but again, irony says I might not be able to go.

I can call samaritans, but you know it gets frustrating explaining everything over and over on the phone. Its 'fire fighting' in this situation, its not dealing with it, I know that.

Im just sitting here tapping away trying to 'distract' but this is getting tedious! Maybe I'll take sleeping pills and 'get out'. I feel like thats my only option I ever have, and if I rely on that too much I'll be addicted. But the old CMHT said the only thing they could offer to help was a benzo for when I feel like I've had enough [so inspiring!] And does that mean when I have REALLY had enough I take the whole box [sick joke, but it seems logical to me right now]

I guess I have to laugh.

But in laughing I feel hysterical. Like I could jump. :/ In talking today I felt anger so strong I wanted to run and never come back.

I know its a really silly thing, but the summer is over now tbh, and all Im looking forward to for the next 6 months is darkness, literally. It feels so hopeless and black. I dont want to die, but the idea seems like a realistic solution right now and I hate it but how do I MAKE it change? Im trying my fricking hardest already. And Im sick. Im not well.

29-08-2010, 11:29 PM	#37
MissAnonymous Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: UK I am currently:	I just dont have professional support available [I was discharged from adult services because it is not in their remit to treat PDs and my county has no service they can refer me to]. Cop-out much? I was waiting for a lady called Gail from family carers to call me back, but she never did. Thats only for a carers support group though with other young people, but the irony is I might not be able to go cos I cant leave her for hours and hours. My gp doesnt really help, theres nothing to say, I am waiting to be referred to an anxiety workshop course thingy via MIND [charity] but again, irony says I might not be able to go. I can call samaritans, but you know it gets frustrating explaining everything over and over on the phone. Its 'fire fighting' in this situation, its not dealing with it, I know that. Im just sitting here tapping away trying to 'distract' but this is getting tedious! Maybe I'll take sleeping pills and 'get out'. I feel like thats my only option I ever have, and if I rely on that too much I'll be addicted. But the old CMHT said the only thing they could offer to help was a benzo for when I feel like I've had enough [so inspiring!] And does that mean when I have REALLY had enough I take the whole box [sick joke, but it seems logical to me right now] I guess I have to laugh. But in laughing I feel hysterical. Like I could jump. :/ In talking today I felt anger so strong I wanted to run and never come back. I know its a really silly thing, but the summer is over now tbh, and all Im looking forward to for the next 6 months is darkness, literally. It feels so hopeless and black. I dont want to die, but the idea seems like a realistic solution right now and I hate it but how do I MAKE it change? Im trying my fricking hardest already. And Im sick. Im not well.