[Vampiric Addiction]

I wanted to today. I decided to treat myself to a bracelet from the RYL store as a treat... And I am proud to be able to say it is of the "free" variety.

I'm not sure when I last SI'd. For me I do find it hard to draw a line because while it's now probably been a couple of years since I actually cut, there are other SI methods I held onto for a lot longer - ones that some might not think are of any significance... things like using my nails to hurt myself... but in reality they do injure me, I do use it as a comfort tool when I turn to that, and there's a link between me doing that and actually going back to cutting properly.

So, it's mine and my Mr's 2yr anniversary tomorrow and I know I haven't cut in the time we've been together, though I have done the nails thing, but not to anywhere near the extent I used to.

Part of my logic in getting myself a bracelet was to be able to remind myself how far I've come and that I really don't need to take the step backwards that is hurting myself with my nails. :)

I'm proud to be able to say though, that I can now go through stressful or difficult situations and not turn to SI. It took a long time for that to be the case for me, and I have to also add that a little of why I am now at that stage is that my depression + anxiety is now well medicated (for me, it's looking far more like the chemical imbalance side of things, so may well be on them pretty much forever - but that's okay :) )

So, sorry for the ramble, but a huge thank you goes to RYL and a little message of hope (I hope anyway) for anyone still struggling with their demons - you can do it, don't ever lose sight or lose hope

lots of love (and I mean that)
VA x