I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't begin to understand what that must feel like.
Do you have anyone that you can talk to, a friend? Could you maybe try to talk to your mum and explain how you feel?
Hold on to that cliff, I'm sure your dad would not have wanted you to do anything to hurt yourself. Be strong, you can get through this. If not for yourself, do it for your dad.
I hope you'll be okay,
Alla xxx.
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