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The One Who · 20-08-2010, 01:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pierrot

I see where you are saying that these behaviors should be challenged more on the boards, and addressed more head-on, but there is also a disclaimer right on the site's page that says this isn't a substitute for professional help. Every time I port in support, I ask myself whether I'm going to do more harm than good by asking probing questions and trying to get at the root of things. I'm not a therapist, I don't know the kinds of questions to ask. I definitely do not want to hurt someone's feelings, or make them think they're not welcome to post here just to receive validation or hugs if that is what they desire.

Second thing...I don't know about anyone else, but at times I do revel in the fact that I self-harm.

On that same topic, I think it's important to accept the fact of one's own self-harm before concentrated, serious effort can be made to overcome it. Like the 666th Pope said, you don't get over self-harm; you just move on from it, the way you would an addiction. This is just my opinion, but I see a lot of those "does anyone else do this" threads turning into lists mostly as people wanting to identify with one another. We're all struggling to come to terms with our own self-harm; there's no standard way of doing that, (and in much of popular culture talking openly about it is a bad idea) so we're kind of left to muddle through on our own the best we can. I guess most of my perspective on this stems merely from my own experiences. The biggest favor this site has done me is to prove beyond words and statistics that I am not a complete pariah.

Of course we're not professionals, and that is why I whole-heartedly encourage everyone to see their doctor and attempt to get some professional help. I also know that counselling does not work for everyone, but that shouldn't stop people trying. I think if people posted what it was they were looking for (emotional help, practical advice, hugs, etc) then it would help enormously in giving appropriate support.

I know that sometimes people do revel in their self-harm, but I don't think it is appropriate to do so on this site, which is largely (although not completely) recovery-based. I do not think it is okay for people to think what they are doing is normal or that they are part of some exclusive group because of what they do. Not saying you do, just that sometimes that is how it can be on SID.

Maybe it's because I'm not 'addicted' to self-harm that I have a different viewpoint to others. I don't know.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jodi

"I'd rather not have my personality be aligned with my self-harm. Yes, it is a part of me, but it is not what makes me who I am. I do not associate my personality with my self-harm at all."

I'm sorry I think you misunderstood what I was saying, I don't consider self harming to be part of my- or others- personalities. I don't want to be defined by my self harm!
All I meant was that it makes others with self harm difficulties real rather than statistics.

Sorry, yes, I think I misunderstood. I get you now.

20-08-2010, 01:38 PM	#44
The One Who Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Somewhere I am currently:	Quote: Originally Posted by Pierrot I see where you are saying that these behaviors should be challenged more on the boards, and addressed more head-on, but there is also a disclaimer right on the site's page that says this isn't a substitute for professional help. Every time I port in support, I ask myself whether I'm going to do more harm than good by asking probing questions and trying to get at the root of things. I'm not a therapist, I don't know the kinds of questions to ask. I definitely do not want to hurt someone's feelings, or make them think they're not welcome to post here just to receive validation or hugs if that is what they desire. Second thing...I don't know about anyone else, but at times I do revel in the fact that I self-harm. On that same topic, I think it's important to accept the fact of one's own self-harm before concentrated, serious effort can be made to overcome it. Like the 666th Pope said, you don't get over self-harm; you just move on from it, the way you would an addiction. This is just my opinion, but I see a lot of those "does anyone else do this" threads turning into lists mostly as people wanting to identify with one another. We're all struggling to come to terms with our own self-harm; there's no standard way of doing that, (and in much of popular culture talking openly about it is a bad idea) so we're kind of left to muddle through on our own the best we can. I guess most of my perspective on this stems merely from my own experiences. The biggest favor this site has done me is to prove beyond words and statistics that I am not a complete pariah. Of course we're not professionals, and that is why I whole-heartedly encourage everyone to see their doctor and attempt to get some professional help. I also know that counselling does not work for everyone, but that shouldn't stop people trying. I think if people posted what it was they were looking for (emotional help, practical advice, hugs, etc) then it would help enormously in giving appropriate support. I know that sometimes people do revel in their self-harm, but I don't think it is appropriate to do so on this site, which is largely (although not completely) recovery-based. I do not think it is okay for people to think what they are doing is normal or that they are part of some exclusive group because of what they do. Not saying you do, just that sometimes that is how it can be on SID. Maybe it's because I'm not 'addicted' to self-harm that I have a different viewpoint to others. I don't know. Quote: Originally Posted by Jodi "I'd rather not have my personality be aligned with my self-harm. Yes, it is a part of me, but it is not what makes me who I am. I do not associate my personality with my self-harm at all." I'm sorry I think you misunderstood what I was saying, I don't consider self harming to be part of my- or others- personalities. I don't want to be defined by my self harm! All I meant was that it makes others with self harm difficulties real rather than statistics. Sorry, yes, I think I misunderstood. I get you now.