For as long as I could remember, I would chew my nails but, I wouldn't just chew the fingernail...I'd bite off the skin around the nail. I'd chew on my fingers and skin so much that I would make myself bleed. It would hurt so bad but, I couldn't stop doing it. I would do it when I was bored, sad, scared, or angry. Then in the 7th grade I heard my best friend at the time talking to someone else about her having cuts all down her arm because she cut herself. I knew is was something bad but, I had no idea what exactly it was. Then in 8th grade, my best friend(a different girl) told me that she had been cutting herself. I started asking questions like why and how often and what it felt like and she told me that she only did it when she was upset or angry. She told me that it made her feel better and it was like a release of all that energy and frustration she had inside her. I couldn't get it out of my head. So a few days afterwards I had gotten upset because my dad was drunk again. I thought back to my friend cutting herself and I decided I would try it to see if it worked for me. I grabbed a safety pin and pushed it down into the inside of my left anckle. It didn't draw blood but it broke the skin enough for me to feel something. I was instantly hooked. It was like a rush I had never felt before. I was 14 when I started and I'm 19 now. In october I'll be 20 and will have ben cutting for 6 years...it's incredibale how strong the hold of SI has on someone...
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