Thank-you. I still feel like I should be able to deal with this better now, although I am usually fine now, just struggling a bit again the last couple of days. But then, most people I know haven't experienced this yet so I'm not really sure what's 'normal' to feel, and sometimes I just get a bit overwhelmed.
My mum's getting worse pain back again today [back pain is one of the symptoms of this type of cancer]. I think she's a bit worried, which is understandable. I'm trying to reassure myself about what the doctors said about it all seeming like a good sign (they haven't done any blood tests/CT scans etc for a while now, but they're basing it on the lack of pain etc), but I am kind of worried too. I know I'm probably just being silly though, my mum's not on any pain relief anymore so it is still a really good sign. And maybe it's just side effects from the radiotherapy, they said it might build this week.
I cried lots again after I went training tonight, but only when I was alone. I am being happy and positive at home as much as possible, I am being positive when I'm with my friends etc. But sometimes I just want to cry a lot because I need help too. I know it sounds selfish, but I seem to be falling into a bad place at the moment, not just about this but all of it. I've got an exam next week, the one I missed in May when I got detained, and I'm stressed about that too, so maybe it will all seem better after that.
I don't know.
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