WOAH!!! Thats one helluva sentence!!! *breathes*
thats a lot of pain and sorrow to go thru in such a short space of time. It sounds to me like probelms were eveloving/happening way before this girl came on the scene and she was less a possible partner but more the answer to all your woes? Perhaps thats why you fell so hard for her and thats why its hit you so incredibly hard after she left?
You need to go get some help. you need to talk to the doc if you havent already and explain all this.
I dont know your history or anything about you but as you are postin on this site im assuming you self harm/have self harmed or are either thinking of doing it or worried about relapsing?
You sound hypersensitive too right now and all seems too much to take.
Get on the phone and call the doc.
good luck!!!
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