[moke]

**Possible triggers - not sure!**

I'm actually dying for some answers to this myself. I'm not married, but living with my boyfriend who I've been with for about 15 months now (although I've known him as a friend since I was 5).

I don't know how to communicate it all to him!

He's not depressed at all, and while he tries to support me and understand me, he gets frustrated that he just can't contemplate how someone can feel "down" without having a tangible reason (something a bit concrete like "i just lost my job" or "my cat died").

I'd love to be able to explain how it is to just feel horrible and a complete mess for no good reason other than "i just do". But I can't, because 1. I don't know how to put it into words and 2. i'm not very good at being open about feelings like this so find it hard to actually get the words out.

The plus side is, I guess, that it keeps me from SI because I know he'll notice it (he always has so far), and if he notices it I'll get asked loads of questions about why and when and how.. .. so to avoid the questioning, and to avoid upsetting him, I just don't do it (well, very rarely now)

I sometimes listen to myself when I'm down and think "christ, I don't know how he puts up with this, I'd be fed up of living with someone this miserable"!

So.. you're not alone! But yea... interested to see any responses on how to deal with the relationship side of things so we can try and make things easier..

I think I'm asking the same thing as in your original post? Hehe :)