[xlaurenx]

Part of me really regrets me doing it and another part of me doesn't

I started out of curiosity really, then as i struggled at college due to bullying i never opened up to anyone so it became my way of coping, even if it helped me through that time, when i needed something, i wish i didn't pick sh as i way to cope. I have destroyed my body, alot of people said i could be a model as am naturally tall and thin yet whats that worth now? I harm and my thighs are awfully scarred. I feel so ashamed about it yet i cant change the past, i wish i could.

Having said all of that i feel that it has made me ore aware of the friends i can really trust and who are good mates and dont leave me. Also its made me who i am, am alot more caring and helpful to people if they need help in any way etc and i doubt if i didn't sh i wouldn't be here today or would be in a much worse place. At the same time i regret how bad the scars are that even if i cover them up people still no what there from. And i have learnt alot more about myself:)

Sometimes i think back to when my sh was at it worst and my depression to and i wonder how i ever got out of that hole

So i think mainly i do regret it yet sh has its ' good points'